Back to Basics: Seasons of Love. Measure of Life. Etcetera.

Our life is measured by how many tears of joy we've shed for every reward and success, for great wonders witnessed, for impossible heights reached, for our every dawning realization,  up to the simplest  blessings that could mean a lot to us. Those times when we knew for certain that our life was changed forever.

Our life is measured by smiles that symbolized not only of pleasure and happiness, but of strength and will to make the most out of our life. The moments when we couldn't move forward and there's no place to go back to as well, so we tried moving sideways. The little steps, our acts of going the extra mile for others, not even for ourselves.

Our life is measured by little and big decisions; it is measured by moments of indecision that took for a few seconds or hours or days for us to overcome. The books we've read when we have nowhere else to look for answers in life's confusing questions, the movies we've watched as we tried to figure if we wanted to walk or run. Those times when we couldn't keep up with the fast-paced routine of the world, so we decided to close our eyes and calm our heart.

Our life is measured by mistakes we've committed, lessons we've learned, and all that was in between. From all people we've intentionally and accidentally hurt, from our own share of pain that broke us and afterwards made us a whole new person. It is measured by those questions we've asked, some were answered while some remained to be a mystery unsolved. Those times when we doubt everything and things still went right, proving that good things always come even if we fail to believe sometimes. It is measured by those many times when we've been selfish and still loved, when we were childish and were still taken seriously, when we were pushing everyone away and someone still reached out to hold our hand, when we didn't want to stand and fight back anymore and someone shoved us back up and told us we didn't have to do it alone.

Our life is measured by love. Those moments when we just wanted to stay in someone's arms, hoping the feeling would last forever. The time when we first comforted our sister when she broke her heart, or cried our heart out when our dog died. The rare times when someone's smile was enough to complete our day. It was those long hours of listening to love songs, happy and sad, while the rain was pouring hard. Those silent, cold nights when flashbacks of past stories made us laugh at ourselves, either that or it triggered the feeling of longing, of missing the person/s in the memory.

Our life is measured by how many people we've sincerely laughed and cried with, to whom we've told our happiest memory and darkest inhibition, from whom we've heard the most heartbreaking stories of love, pain and sacrifices. The people we could talk with the whole day about nothing important, those we could be serious and silly with and not be judged.

Our life is measured by how strong we've been in the past, how excited we are of the future, how thankful and happy we are of today.

Our life is measured by our devotion to be a better person, daughter or son, partner, soulmate, parent, friend, neighbor... every day of our life.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned

Or in times that he cried

In bridges he burned

Or the way that she died

It's time now, to sing out

Though the story never ends

Let's celebrate

Remember a year in the life of friends

Hate is very intimate.

You force yourself to learn the lesson. It is difficult, but that's what makes the lesson worth the tears and sacrifices. If it is not difficult, you may not have a takeaway at all. When you look into the mirror, what do you see? Is it a face of someone at peace with what she has, or is it the face of someone else whom you think has no right to be happy? Before you sleep, what do pray or wish for? Is it for something good and pretty about yourself and the future, or do you wish for something bad to happen to others? For whatever it is you live for, do you think you deserve it all?

You are the hater. You are a nice person. No one is judging, yet everyone seems to be looking. You do your best to share the goodness you've learned while growing up. You do good or bad, you are hated. No one is nice to you. You just don't care. You live for yourself anyway, so why worry about what others have to say?

The thing is, no one lives for anybody else. We all live for ourselves and our interests. Our lives intersects with other people. We help others get back up when they fall down. We share resources. We find purpose from others' existence. Still, at the end of our day, we reflect on what our actions have contributed to our own sanity, how everything that happened affect us. How it helped (or did not help) our cause. 

When we hate, it is also our doing. Regardless of why or who we hate, it is us who feels the feelings; it is us who process the thoughts in our brains and sends the rest of the signals to our whole body (or however else Science explains it). 

Hate is very intimate. It is as extreme and as strong as love. If you have time to waste hating somebody, why can't you find time in forgiving them? It can be a hobby, you know. Don't you think there is already too much problem in the world?

- - - - - - - - 

And what are these words all about? Nothing, really. I don't even think the paragraphs make sense combined as one post. I am just trying to not notice how slowly time is passing. I mean, I am just so bored right now and I want it to be lunchtime already so I can start yet another great Saturday with my yabhi and my friends and everyone else who is interested to be with me. 

I've been playing Jenny-O songs and here is my takeaway for the past two hours. Somehow, these words just kind of make sense.

I wrestle with my reasons everyday

I listen to my friends and what they say

What they say

If you don’t put out

And we don’t see eye to eye

Then why can’t I leave you?

But you sound so smart

While you’re tearing me apart

I believe you, I believe you

All my wishes have come true

I’m thinking about it and I feel used

And fairly accused

Be another summer, take my fall

Come winter and nothing has changed at all

Nobody calls

- - - - - - - - 

On the good side though...

here we are, the "M Angels" (getting fatter each day),
greeting everyone a Happy New Year!
BTW. Guess who: Three are sisters, one is a cousin. Hard to guess? I know right!

My 14 notes to myself for the new year. Big world. Big words.

1. Enjoy life. Live by your standards, others' approval don't always count. Watch a corny movie. Eat something pink. Drink something blue. Make faces. Crack a joke at random. Wear your heart at all times. Don't do it to impress, do it because it feels like your happiness waiting to happen. Be prepared to be swept away.

2. Don't worry about things we can't change. If they are meant to, they'll happen regardless. When you turn your face skyward at night, notice how determined the moon and the starts to shine bright, instead of worrying about how dark it is. 

3. It's fine to expect too much, but we have to accept that's it is always a 50-50 chance that we'll win, or we will be disappointed. As they say, life is unfair to all of us, therefore it is fair. Dream big, dream the impossible, dream what others don't dare to dream. No dream is big enough, there is always room for more.

4. Keep moving. It doesn't matter where, just move. It keeps life's momentum. It gives life meaning, even when that meaning is a question. The answers do not lie in just one place. Keep looking. Enjoy searching and finding them would be most fulfilling.

5. Don't rush life. Slow down. Stop chasing after things no matter how important they seem to be at such moment. Take a moment to consider possibilities, sometimes there is too much chaos in our minds that we don't hear the important thing the universe is telling.

6. Check corners for little extras. Even a dead-end serves a purpose. You will be surprised at what secrets lies on unexpected and ignored places. You will not always find something, but when you do, it's all worth it.

7. Do some tango with a stranger. Eat some ice cream on a cold night. Be random. Be spontaneous. You don't have to plan every little thing. The perfect moments are in those unplanned ones. The perfect moments come when all your guards are down. Open up, loosen your nerves, and you'll feel the greatness in spontaneity.

8. Avoid imitating the world's routine. Create your own. It doesn't even have to be a routine. Life is anything but boring and predictable if we will recognize how much wonderful it can get. 

9. Stop waiting for others to make mistakes just so we can be the better man. Recognize the fact-as-to-experience truth that we can't learn it all on our own, others' mistakes help a lot. Make your own and let them make theirs. Learn from both. Do not criticize. Forgive shortcomings, regardless of whose it is.

10. Even if there's no more reason to, even if it looks stupid to others... just keep on believing. Don't give up just because the rest of he world has. Do it on your own terms. Fight back. You don't even have to win them all. Just love each battle and be dignified in doing it. You cay lay down your weapon when you are ready to.

11. Make the most of today. Explore. Don't tell yourself the unknown is too much to grasp. Face your fears. Fight what scares you to try. Don't stick to just one option. Even if it turns out bad, it is nice to look back and be able to say to ourselves "that was one tough me." 

12. Trust your heart to know the difference between sincere and overwhelmed. Be honest with your feelings. Be real. Work out your fears so they can somehow be used as strengths. When you find a loophole in something that should be strong, do not criticize. Everyone fails sometimes. Everyone who knows courage had known real heartbreak first.

13. Smile. Even when everything is at its worst, a smile in itself is a sign that we haven't given up hope yet. Smile at strangers, otherwise you'll never know how many would've smiled back. Do something silly so you can laugh at yourself. Smile about happy moments. Smile about the lessons from the bad ones.

14. Keep your faith. Pray. Shadows mean there is light beside the darkness. Someone is always keeping watch and we don't have to do it all alone.

P.S.

For something funny and random, I'm gonna watch Bride For Rent with my best friends sometime this week (hopefully), then eat real food at a real food place. I'm taking a break from English films and junk food. What's your story? 

^_____^