Sunday, December 28, 2014

Hate is very intimate.

You force yourself to learn the lesson. It is difficult, but that's what makes the lesson worth the tears and sacrifices. If it is not difficult, you may not have a takeaway at all. When you look into the mirror, what do you see? Is it a face of someone at peace with what she has, or is it the face of someone else whom you think has no right to be happy? Before you sleep, what do pray or wish for? Is it for something good and pretty about yourself and the future, or do you wish for something bad to happen to others? For whatever it is you live for, do you think you deserve it all?

You are the hater. You are a nice person. No one is judging, yet everyone seems to be looking. You do your best to share the goodness you've learned while growing up. You do good or bad, you are hated. No one is nice to you. You just don't care. You live for yourself anyway, so why worry about what others have to say?

The thing is, no one lives for anybody else. We all live for ourselves and our interests. Our lives intersects with other people. We help others get back up when they fall down. We share resources. We find purpose from others' existence. Still, at the end of our day, we reflect on what our actions have contributed to our own sanity, how everything that happened affect us. How it helped (or did not help) our cause. 

When we hate, it is also our doing. Regardless of why or who we hate, it is us who feels the feelings; it is us who process the thoughts in our brains and sends the rest of the signals to our whole body (or however else Science explains it). 

Hate is very intimate. It is as extreme and as strong as love. If you have time to waste hating somebody, why can't you find time in forgiving them? It can be a hobby, you know. Don't you think there is already too much problem in the world?

- - - - - - - - 

And what are these words all about? Nothing, really. I don't even think the paragraphs make sense combined as one post. I am just trying to not notice how slowly time is passing. I mean, I am just so bored right now and I want it to be lunchtime already so I can start yet another great Saturday with my yabhi and my friends and everyone else who is interested to be with me. 

I've been playing Jenny-O songs and here is my takeaway for the past two hours. Somehow, these words just kind of make sense.


I wrestle with my reasons everyday
I listen to my friends and what they say
What they say
If you don’t put out
And we don’t see eye to eye
Then why can’t I leave you?
But you sound so smart
While you’re tearing me apart

I believe you, I believe you

All my wishes have come true
I’m thinking about it and I feel used
And fairly accused
Be another summer, take my fall
Come winter and nothing has changed at all

Nobody calls

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On the good side though...

here we are, the "M Angels" (getting fatter each day),
greeting everyone a Happy New Year!
BTW. Guess who: Three are sisters, one is a cousin. Hard to guess? I know right!