Monday, January 27, 2014

It must be very lonely for Time to heal all wounds...

Girl: I thought time heals all wounds...
Boy: Be patient. Some things, destined to be or not, will happen when they are bound to.
Girl: I just want it all to take away all the pain... to fix the broken, to help me get back up...
Boy: Sitting here beside you, watching you kill yourself slowly with thoughts that bring you nothing but hurt... It must be very lonely for Time to be the one healing all wounds...

No matter how hard we want to, we cannot just erase bad and hurtful memories. Even accidents that could cause memory loss do not guarantee a permanent brain damage (and that's not to consider how far we are now with technology and medicine). Though they never go away, I know they could fade with time. And as we come to create more memories, live more experiences, meet more people, make more dreams happen... we also come to eventually accept that these memories that we allow to haunt us, they are stopping us in more ways than we realize.

They fade with time... and there will come a point when we just don't want to overthink things anymore. Either way, nothing with these memories would change anyway. So what's the point, right? We can play each scene and run the same script over and over until we fall asleep, and when we wake up, nothing has really change. They still happened. But then it's a stupid and unrealistic premise (yeah, I don't believe it myself). It's easy to say "I'll survive this," but of course we do not take our own advice (giving the advice we could make ourselves listen to, that's our friends' job). Seriously though, when we've already moved on from the hurt, when we are already THERE on the other side watching the past with a nostalgic smile, that's the time we'll have the guts to say out loud that "Yeah, I know I'd survive it." But when we're still in the middle of the chaos, all we see is how humiliated we are, all we feel is how painful everything seems to be, all we could think of is that it's never ever going to be okay, all we want to do is be miserable and cry. Speaking from experience (I've been wanting to say that. hahahah), it's hardest to be strong when everything around us is falling apart. Ironically, we need courage the most when we're most broken, alone, and hopeless. Because even when human nature demands us to deny it to ourselves, we're going to be okay. Better sooner than later. Life is beautiful in this way... there are broken roads and there are the smooth ones. We can choose which way to take, but not really where it will lead us. We can regret the choices we've made all we want. But, c'mon, when we were making them, we did not think they were such bad ideas. In case the road we chose to take only lead us to a dead-end, we could always turn around and take another path. Eventually, our faith, perseverance, determination, pride, boredom, luck (and whatever else it might be), will lead us to that road we've been looking for all along. It will be worth all the waiting and failing and trying. Again, life is beautiful in this way.

Mahalin mo na lang kahit kunwari
Dalangin nyang nakatingin sa langit
Naubos na ang sandali ng buhay niyang kasing gulo
Ng ‘sang pelikulang wala namang istorya
Natapos ng ikaw na lang ang bida
‘di man lang nasabi na
Mahal na mahal mo sya
Mahal na mahal mo sya

Naubos na ang luha nya
Pikit na ang kanyang mata
Kanina’y nakatitig pa
Sa larawan mo na yakap nya
(Kai – Maryzark)

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