Wednesday, January 29, 2014

when the sun and moon become one, even the brightest stars will bow and fall in love...

Happy is the heart that still feels pain
Darkness drains and light will come again
Swing open your chest and let it in
Just let the love, love, love begin
Everybody, everybody wants to love
Everybody, everybody wants to be loved
(Everybody)

We can't force anyone to stay close to our heart...it's a mutual decision. When one decides he or she had enough of the relationship, or whatever it is called, there's nothing to do but accept and move on... and wish that somewhere, there's another story about the people who left and who is left behind, another chapter waiting to be told. Another chance to experience it all over again, and then some more...

So glide away on soapy heels
And promise not to promise anymore
And if you come around again
Then I will take, then I will take the chain from off the door
I'll never say that I'll never love
But I don't say a lot of things
And you my love are gone
(The Chain)

Everyone changes --appearance, personality, virtues, perceptions, beliefs...-- one way or another we all come to that point when we (consciously or unconsciously) evolve to our another self. We can be different people with one body, heart and soul. sad thing is, not all evolves to a better version.  and then come mistakes... and sometimes, what follows is a lifetime of sacrifices to make peace with all the regrets. the tricky part is, there's no universal standard of what "changes" are good, and what are not. We can only judge in accordance  to what has been taught to us, to what we've witnessed as we were growing up, what our hearts believe to be true, from all our experiences... and surely, our views regarding this would be different, but all the same wants a similar ending: a happy life, a well-lived story, a perfect world... some things are just too good to be true.

Don't delay, something tells me I gotta go away
Maybe it's the way we always stay when our hearts have gone
We can't hold us anymore, no we've got to fold
Down to the floor, yes I know it's cold but baby our hearts have gone
Just because there once was love
Don't mean a thing, don't mean a thing
(Once Was Love)

We all have to grow up. Live more. Move. And as we see more of the world and meet more of its people, there's that will and desire to listen to what they have to say and to see what's being shown, to discover more and give new things a try... we  can't stop anyone from it, no one would want to stop us from it. even when we only love the light when hating the darkness becomes too much, it is not taken against us. even when we love no more what used to be, it is forgiven. Even when we forget what love is all about, it is not hated. The cold nights will soon be over, everyone has the courageous heart to hope it will leave something for comfort.

Oh, the only way to really know is to really let it go
Maybe you're gonna come back, you're gonna come back
You're gonna come back to me
I don't wanna be the first to let it go
But I know, I know, I know
If you have the last hands that I want to hold
Then I know I've got to let them go
(Maybe)

Staying is never easy when your heart feels it needs to go someplace else. But going away, when your heart wants nothing but to stay, is more difficult. There is love waiting for you to acknowledge, yet you don't spare it a glance. Because your thoughts are far away looking for that same love you think you lost. But it was never really yours to begin with, or if it had been, that's a long time ago already. So you come back empty-handed, more broken than fixed. That love who promised to wait until you heal and ready again, has moved on and found somebody else to love. It gets worse. It gets better. And you learn to value what's now and what's not. Someday you'll understand why , but while you still don't, don't blame the gods.


Note: The song excerpts are from Ingrid Michaelson's songs (Album: Everybody). 
This is my playlist for today, while re-reading 'Insurgent.' 
and while i'm trying to decide in peace.
hello February. i hope...