Friday, February 13, 2015

The world moves on even when you're in so much pain.

Stop crying and stop complaining, you do not carry the biggest of all the problems.
Take a moment to look outside... Observe. Think.
See that? The world moves on even when you're in so much pain.

I do not have a good memory. I can't even memorize my own mobile number. But the world has its ways of building our character and making us who we are. I cannot remember numbers and figures very well, but I can remember long conversations and stories that happen a long time ago. The memories of the happy moments makes me remember the euphoric feelings they made me feel. The sad and heartbreaking talks I had in the past can still make me cry sometimes.

They say moving on is the hardest thing to do. I think it is not just hard, I think it can be impossible if we allow it to be. I remember walking out of the gate I was so familiar of, like it was my own house I would never see again. I remember riding the jeepney to my bestfriend's house, with nothing but some change and tears. I remember crying all night, and then crying some more the next day. Crying went on for quite sometime. I remember my ate being so nice to me because she knew I was in so much pain, even when I I was not saying anything. I remember my friends visiting me like I was suffering from a serious illness. I remember just wanting them all to stop and to leave me alone, consumed by my misery. I had moments when I just stare at nothing, then would suddenly cry for reason I no longer remember now. 

I guess it is comforting to cry and just feel the pain, until you get used to it... until your heart gets tired of that aching throb and decides to look again for that light euphoric feeling. Life is full of heartbreaks, but still our hearts will never forget what happiness feels like. When we are done with all the bad feelings, what do we look for? What do we long for to feel again? 

Then we start to move on. Move on in such a way that we don't really forget the pain, we just realized what a waste it would be if we don't carry on life and stay being miserable. We remember the pain, we always will; but the pain becomes a memory of who we used to be and what we used to have. It becomes our past. We continue to move on. We start to be thankful to our friends and family who stayed by our side during our darkest and meanest moments. We start to be thankful to those who break our hearts for making us stronger. We start to grow up some more. We start to laugh again.

I remember what changed it all. I remember telling stories and not crying anymore. I remember the look of pride on the faces of people who knew what I went through. I remember the happiness they had when they found out I am following my dreams.

I remember the good things. I remember the bad ones. I treasure them all. I am thankful for it all.