Monday, June 3, 2013

more often than not, experience shapes our beliefs..

One day while my light is glowing
I’ll be in my castle golden
But until the gates are open
I just wanna feel this moment
I just wanna feel this moment
I just wanna feel this moment

As my title says (and my Facebook status early this morning), experience shapes our beliefs as it does shapes us. It has been one month or so now since my life took an unexpected turn. And by unexpected, I mean crazy-highest-and-fastest-roller-coaster-ride-while holding-a-glass-of-water-that-you-just-can't-spill unexpected. But the cool thing is, my decisions since Day 1 felt like the most natural things in the world. Risky decisions, but worth making.

It felt right. Like finding the lost pieces that I have never realized missing until the moment they resurfaced. Like falling in love with an author and reading all his published books, even those with bad reviews and still being their number one fan. It felt right and somehow, I know that even if I know the outcome after a month would be like this (the story of this is reserved for another post), I would still make the same exact choices. Because really, I was not 100% percent thinking, I was more on the feeling side. Call me emotional, but at least I'm happy and content with who I am right now.

Some wonders how can I accept changes this fast. Some asks why is it so easy for me to make the same choices that tore me into pieces and left me broken and almost dead in the past. I don't blame them. Sometimes, I ask myself the same things. 

Again, experience shapes our beliefs. The only one who could sort out our inner dilemmas is ourselves, no one would love us enough to take over the job. And when tough times come, we can't bend with the bad... we have to be tougher than the times. I've experienced a lot, maybe not that much yet, but enough to make me believe that we only live once. And the moments we have now would never be the same as the moment we will have tomorrow. Maybe I've made another big mistake. Maybe I've made another stupid decision that I will regret for another long time. Only Time could tell, and I trust that Time will have a good story to share. 

We only live once. A lot happens each day but not all moments count. We make the best of it because it's how life works. It's a cliché we grew up hearing.

And yeah, I don't have an ending for this. Bye. :D