This post is for my bestfriend, girlfriend, live-in partner... my conscience.
Yeah she hates me now... and that hurts a lot because she never hates anyone. She is that type of person who easily forgives no matter what you've done simply because she believes in forgiveness. She is a great believer to peace and harmony. She is a faithful servant... She loves her family more than life itself. She is the best bestfriend one could ever have. She is the sweetest tomboy chick I know.
I miss her. Because in times like this when I am confused and I just need harsh words to wake me up from my wishful thinking, she's always there to play the bad cop part. She's there when I was crying myself to sleep because I did not know what else to do. She's there even when I failed to follow her advise and I got hurt anyway because I was stubborn. She's there when nobody else cared... because I was her bestfriend, because she loved me, because I was always important to her.
I won't say I don't understand why she's keeping her distance. Believe me, I do. But I still wish things are different. I wish she's still here to bitch around when I'm too weak to even say a mean word. I wish she's here to check how I'm doing, or if I'm still hurting. I wish I could still share to her my pains and inhibitions. I wish she's here to hug me even when what she really wants to do is tell me her righteous I-told-you-so. I wish she's still here to fight my battles when i'm too tired to stand up. I wish... I wish she's still here... I don't care if she's mad or what; I prefer that than her not caring at all. It's torture to feel like a total stranger to the one person you will always love no matter what lifetime it is. It's torture to know she's hurting because she fell betrayed, because, yeah, somehow I betrayed her. But I know you'll understand... you always do.
Hey. I miss you bhe...