Friday, June 30, 2017

My worst kind

It's those unplanned moments and unexpected decisions that make the most impact. When you least expect it, an ordinary day would suddenly do a 360 and become a best or worst. 

Today's topic over dinner with my colleagues is about the different levels of cheating. This was brought up because somebody cheated on someone over a dating website and another unrelated party called it lame. So question is, is there really levels, kinds, types or whatsoever, of cheating? Isn't it that cheating is cheating? I mean, you can't possibly be 50% cheating and 50% loyal, right?

I think you just can't sugarcoat cheating. The effect of the action may differ on different people and situations, but "it" being less painful to someone is not really any third party's place to judge. How can you claim your pain was milder that another's? Maybe that person just dealt with it differently than you so she (let's use she since I'm a girl, i'm not saying boys cheat more often). It doesn't really mean your story was the worst. Worst for you, maybe. But hers is worst for her. Even I think mine was worst.

So let's say I'm to choose what cheating would be the worst ever, what would I say? I think the worst that someone could go through is the kind of cheating with no turning back. I mean yes, it depends on people and situations still on which ones you cannot go back to and which ones can be given another chance. But let's say these conditions don't exist. Let's say I define what worst kind of cheating is. 

Here goes.

The worst kind is the one with love. We were in love. Then you fell in love with somebody else while we were still together. You pushed your luck and tried to make it work with me while also trying to make it work with her. But you could not forget about her. You told yourself you had to choose, but really you just wanted to be with her without any worries. I was on the way. But we had a thing going for sometime so you were not that mean to just let go without trying hard. I found out before you could try harder. I accused you of cheating. You told me you love her. End of story.

It sounds very simple unless it's actually happening to you. It's painful because it's not something you can blame on momentary lapse or judgement or indecision. It's not even something your greatest love of all can overcome because there's nothing to overcome. He already took himself away from you. 

It's the worst and yet it's best kind because it maybe cheating but it could also mean destiny to somebody else. It's an ending that could be the start of beautiful things somewhere else. It's your bad that may be the first best to another. Only time would tell. It's not the kind of cheating that mostly creates anger and frustration, it's the kind that causes long-term pain because it's more calm in nature. It's calm because it's hopeless. There's no second chance because the one who cheated no longer wants another chance. 

So what's your worst kind?



One look at you, my whole life falls in line
I prayed for you, before I called you mine
I can’t believe it’s true, sometimes
I can’t believe it’s true

I get to love you, it’s the best thing that I’ll ever do
I get to love you, it’s a promise I’m making to you
Whatever may come, your heart I will choose
Forever I’m yours, forever I do
I get to love you, I get to love you

The way you love, it changes who I am
I am undone and I thank God once again
I can’t believe it’s true, sometimes
I can’t believe it’s true

I get to love you, it’s the best thing that I’ll ever do
I get to love you, it’s a promise I’m making to you
Whatever may come; your heart I will choose
Forever I’m yours, forever I do
I get to love you, I get to love you
I get to love you, I get to love you

They say love is a journey, I promise that I’ll never leave
When it’s too heavy to carry, remember this moment with me
I get to love you, I get to love you,
I get to love you

-Ruelle