Friday, December 6, 2013

when there's nothing else worthwhile doing...

Hooking up with friends is never ever a good idea. This is one thing that friends learn to accept mostly after they had been directly or indirectly affected by the aftermath of a friends-to-lovers-to-friends-only-again drama. Otherwise, it's just a life-wrecking wisdom, emphasis on the wrecking part. Good thing with friends, when they are real, they let you come back no matter what. It's always like an army that knows exactly when an assembly is called for. They always come to help fix whatever it is that is broken in the friendship. They will not do miracles and force you to just forgive, tell, and forget... but they will not stop until you at least try. Friends, in a way, are a lot like lovers... they fight, they shout at each other, then they make-up, then they compromise.

What used to be something that kept you apart, that for a while made them leave you alone hurting in your isolated world, would then be the very thing that would bind you again... stronger than ever. You will talk about it. You will laugh about the stupid parts. You will cry about the hurtful things. Mostly, they will do the talking so you have nothing left to do but laugh. You had been asking yourself why you never gave up, they will give you the answer: You never gave up, you never will, because you know these people believe in you.

They are my idea of friends. Funny. Compassionate. Generous. Crazy. Loud. Adventurous. Unpredictable. Independent. Brave. But after years of being with them, I realized"ideal friends" don't really exist the same way that "ideal man" does not. No matter how creative we are, the beautiful things about people that we can create in our minds will never be as great as the real thing. Just like a healthy relationship, there's always more to discover.

 They will push and shove. They will help you get back-up. They will tell you all your faults, and then help you be a better person. Friends will not try to save you because they know they can't, but they will stand by your side while you are trying to save yourself because they know only you can. They can forget to contact you in months, but when they do, it's like you've only talked to them yesterday. Friends could get very far, distance is a variable that always plays a part even when people rarely recognize it. Yet there's always a place reserved for those who go, with an unspoken promise to come back.

We really did not have a good start. A lot of things went wrong (ahem sa nagtitinda ng siomai at sa mga caused of delay!), some people had other commitments to fulfill and were not able to attend (ahem sa mga 'di pumunta!), and it was so cold it felt like raining. Yet when we got it all set-up and ready to go, we were able to make it feel right. This is a celebration of friendship, a yearly tradition that some might call "reunion." For us, it was both a 'November night out' and a 'reunion' that will maybe followed with a December party, then a January meet-up.... and so on. I missed these people so much. And I can tell they all feel the same nostalgia I was feeling by the way they were making jokes and odd observations. We were all talking at the same time and yet somebody was always paying attention to what someone was saying so I guess it's safe to say that noone felt ignored. These are my best friends and I love them to distraction. I feel safe knowing that I will never run out of happy (and really funny) memory when I think about them. Being with them again, however briefly, is something that's worth writing and telling.