Do not keep what your heart can’t handle.

All wounds need time to heal. You can’t erase a scar just because you have new happy memories. You need to give time for people to forgive you and for you to forgive yourself. You should allow your heart to empty itself of old pain at its own pace. Do not be threatened by time, embrace the search no matter how long it is taking you to find what you are looking for. You do not have to be pressured at how happy others look; I’m sure they have their own pain to babysit. Everyone is hurting. We all have that deep scar we are hiding from the world.

Focus on healthy recovery. Not fast. Not fake. Not forced. Not staged. Not copied. Your own way of healthy. Your own definition of healing. If you keep pushing for fast recovery alone, you might only amplify the hurt. You will infect yourself more. Healing does not happen overnight. Do not be anxious to be okay. Do not even try so hard just for the sake of being okay. 

You should know what works and what does not. If something makes you very sad, stay away from it. If someone reminds you of what or who broke you, keep your distance from this person for a while. If something gives you headache for reasons you can’t explain, throw it away. Do not keep what your heart can’t handle. You don’t need to discard everything at one go. Process of elimination... start with the worst and work your way to what’s the least painful. If something is hard to let go, skip, move on to the next, repeat. Eventually, you will run out of things to choose from. By then, your heart will have enough space to give way to happier things. You can’t keep ‘em all. If you will have to choose of which ones to keep and which ones to drop, how well will you handle the picking? 

Do not rush through moving on. There is no right or wrong way of doing it. Pain is unique to everyone. We all have our favorite nightmare we wake up from. And we all have our own ways of dealing with it. Moving on does not have to be fast, it only needs to be sure.

While you’re at it, do not hope for others to feel how you feel. You are not wronged if it seems like you’re the only one suffering. It’s toxic to wish pain to your peers. It’s pathetic to wish harm to those who look happy. Do not judge other just because they smile and cry differently than you do. It does not make you a better person to belittle others’ sufferings. It doesn’t always show, but they are going through something difficult, too. Do not ever wish them more pain. You will not feel better even if they seem to hurt more than you do. Focus on your own healing. Do not try to use others’ energy to fill in yours. They will heal their way, you do it your way, too.

Be gentle to yourself. Do not panic if it’s taking too long for your heart to feel at ease. Allow yourself a free pass. Everyone deserves it at times. Be kind to you so you can be kind to others. You need to trust in your ability to heal for it to actually work. You can survive anything. I hope you will always believe that. You have to wholeheartedly know and accept it for it to happen. If you keep thinking you can, you will be able to.

Be gentle to your broken heart. Let it rest, then give it bits and pieces of beautiful. Do not let it remain broken and dark, slowly light it up and fix its parts. Try to see the good in little things. Experience random acts of kindness from people who are reaching out to you. Accept a helping hand and try to return the gesture in every opportunity you can. Enjoy the breeze as you imagine clouds becoming flowers and forming into rabbits on air. Be a sweetheart to yourself. Be a sweetheart to others. Have that blueberry cheesecake or pistachio ice cream when you feel like it. Watch fireworks light the sky and disappear into darkness. Stay at home and read a book if you prefers solitude. Tell a friend how sad or happy you feel right now. Cry before you sleep if it’s just too hard, just make sure to wipe your own tears and give life another shot come morning. 

It can get really tought at times, but you are braver than you think. You can outrun all these problems. Know your weaknesses but do not forget your strengths. Know that nothing beats a determined heart. Nothing beats a heart with a soul. You can fall down and feel defeated, just don’t stay there for too long. Stand up and smile and give life another go. Never lose the fight you’ve always had inside you. Never become someone weak just because noone believes you are strong. You only need you to be strong. You only need you to heal. 

Heal, be stronger, live.