Thursday, April 5, 2018

Random 3AMish thoughts

It feels like a ticking time bomb. The anticipation is the hardest part, but you'd rather wait for the explosion forever, than actually live its aftermath. If you are questioning your decision, does that mean the decision is wrong? Not necessarily. Second-guessing yourself could mean you're just afraid to fail, or to disappoint, or both. Or it could be the right decision, but you are the wrong person. All of the important decisions we make in life is probably like a marriage proposal - you wanna say yes and no, it's a happy and scary thought, you feel sure but not really. It's happy because you know it's what you want, but scary because you feel sure that a lot of things would go wrong. Touch and go. Maybe. Could be. What ifs.

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A friend asked me today if I'm sure I don't want to go back to my ex. I told her yes, I like someone else now. It's the first time I've been this honest with a very close common friend. Maybe because it's also the first time someone asked  me directly about my relationship status. She told me she understood. She wished me happiness. Then we went on about a Nueva Ecija trip we've been planning for a long time. It feels good to have a few people who won't judge and hate you just because you did something hateful to someone important to them. Sometimes, it's also okay to just trust in the sincerity of people. Sometimes, friends are only waiting for you to open your heart, they were always there to accept it.

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If you'll ask me if get sad because of what happened, I sometimes do. If you'll ask me if I miss a certain someone, I sometimes do. If you'll ask me if I have regrets, the answer is no. If you'll ask me why not, I'd probably struggle in trying to make you understand. But I'm sure you already know the answer, you're just challenging me to explain it. I hope you'll always hear me out first.  

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You are my home. I want to be your home, too.

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It's dangerous so dangerous
I wanna do it again
Come on baby
It's dangerous so dangerous
I wanna do it again
It's dangerous so dangerous
I wanna do it again

I don't know where the lights are taking us
But something in the night is dangerous
And nothing's holding back the two of us
Baby, this is getting serious
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Dangerous

David Guetta - Dangerous